


Mo(u)rning, what a cliché

by rafamarkos5998



Series: Son of Shiva [2]
Category: Batgirl (Comics), Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: ( I'm not sure about using that for fiction like this), (maybe), Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Bruce Wayne is a Bad Parent, Cassandra Cain and Jason Todd are Siblings, Cassandra Cain is Black Bat, Dead Jason Todd, Gen, Good Older Sibling Cassandra Cain, Good Parent Talia al Ghul, Grief/Mourning, Hamilton References, Hurt Bruce Wayne, Hurt Cassandra Cain, Hurt Jason Todd, Hurt No Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I hope the writing's decent at least, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-sacrifice, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Jason Todd and Damian Wayne Meet in the League of Assassins, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Major Character Undeath, POV Bruce Wayne, POV Cassandra Cain, POV Multiple, POV Third Person Limited, Past Character Death, Prostitution, Protective Cassandra Cain, Self-Worth Issues, Writing Exercise, about the rising part though... that's a bit more complicated, because that turned out so well last time, child prostitution, for now, in the grand scheme of things, it's a brief but important segment, no beta we die like robins, playing fast and loose with canon, she's done with Bruce's shit, this did not go as expected
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:54:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25675408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rafamarkos5998/pseuds/rafamarkos5998
Summary: The Batfamily try to come to terms with Jason's death. Since they're the Bats, they don't actually talk to each other.
Relationships: Alfred Pennyworth & Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth & Jason Todd, Barbara Gordon & Bruce Wayne, Batfamily Members & Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Cassandra Cain & Bruce Wayne, Cassandra Cain & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Talia al Ghul & Bruce Wayne, Talia al Ghul & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Alfred Pennyworth, Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Series: Son of Shiva [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1857853
Comments: 67
Kudos: 415





	1. A Father's Grief

**Author's Note:**

> This piece is a way for me to set the stage for the rest of the series, as Cass realizes that the Batfamily doesn't deal with loss well. She learns to see both the good and the bad in all the parental figures in her and Jason's lives and tries to figure out where she will go from here. While she is not there in most of the chapters, she's going to be present in the plot-relevant ones.
> 
> NOTE: This entire story is set on the day of, and the morning after, Jason's death. I don't feel detailed timeframes are that important, and I'll give indications as to how long has passed when I feel it is important to do so. I'll probably post a detailed timeframe for all the chapters after I'm done writing this installment of the series.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce contemplates if he's done right by Jason - if there was a way for him to save his son from his brutal end. John Constantine attempts to help him understand the details of what Jason was saying, but Bruce has to face the fact that there is no way for someone to magically rescue him from the pit of grief he is in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my look at how Bruce tried to grapple with what happened, and the realization that knowing more doesn't actually help him come to terms with it.

After Jason died in Ethiopia, Bruce often wondered what he must have felt like when he knew he was going to die. When he realized that Batman wasn't going to be there to save him.

Did he hate Bruce for not coming to his rescue? Did he try to reject the thought and push to escape till the very end, or did he lie down and wait for death to take him? His face had looked peaceful in death, bearing an expression he had never worn in life. Was that because the oxygen deprivation muddled his thoughts, or was it because he was eager for the pain to end? Was he afraid?

Bruce knew it was probably not a healthy thing to be thinking of. He had no clue what he was looking for - a reason to add to his mountain of guilt, or (unfortunately) a reason to alleviate it by putting the blame on Jason. He knew that such a way of thinking was 'particularly shitty', as Jason would have put it, but he's suffered enough to be allowed his indulgences, isn't he? No harm, no foul, isn't that how the saying goes? The world's turned upside down, he's just trying to cope with it.

No matter. The thoughts fade after a while - with Tim in his life, he has something to alleviate his pain. Again, he knows that it is a 'particularly shitty' way to think of his son, but he is allowed to move on, isn't he?

And then Jason comes back, and all the thoughts return with a fierce vengeance. Not unlike Jason himself.

Except that this time, Bruce looks for a way that Jason could have been turned against him. For signs that Jason was bound to go wrong, bound to turn into a monster - because good people don't just go off the deep end, do they? They must have had the kernel of evil built into them - if not from birth, then from early childhood. And now he looks over the entirety of Jason's life, looking for signs that Jason had been corrupted by his first parents. He was sure that they had damaged him, in a way that he hadn't been able to repair when he was with him as Robin. And now, he looks at Jason's death to try to contextualize his insubordination, his death, and try to understand why his son failed him.

Because it's the little failures that lead to the big ones, do they not? Jason didn't listen to him, he disobeyed him and went into the warehouse. He didn't utilize his teachings properly, that's why he was stuck there as long as he was. And when the bomb went off, he didn't try to live long enough for Bruce to rescue him. Little failures like that, which he condoned, had led to the biggest possible act of disobedience - breaking the Rule.

The world's turned upside down. He's allowed to try to figure out why.

He tries to figure out how to contain his son so that he can be fixed. He'll find the best professionals in the world, will provide all he can to his son so that he can see his mistakes and come back on the right path. He has made mistakes, no doubt, but Bruce believes in redemption. It's why he's let the Joker live this long. If the Joker has the chance to be redeemed, his son can definitely be brought back to him.

And thus he decides to go after the Red Hood, to try to force out the remnants of the son he lost from the vengeful beast before him. Nothing has changed - not yet. A dangerous criminal still needs to be brought in and taken to task for his crimes. He's sick, and the psychiatrists at Arkham are the best in the world. If there is anyone that can bring his son back to him, it's them.

He meets Jason, again and again. He almost loses Tim to him, and for a moment, Bruce contemplates if Jason is worth the effort. He decides to put off that decision, focusing on capturing him. They move from charged encounter to charged encounter, until finally, they're upon another fateful moment. Jason has a gun to the Joker's head and asks him to kill his murderer. Asks him to break the Rule - the one thing that separates him from criminals. And that is when he knows that he cannot have his son back.

And again, the world turns upside down.

Except now, he can't wait for the world to settle to try and figure out its rules, he needs to act. Needs to stop his son from becoming something else, something irredeemable. Needs to stop this madness, because if his son kills the Joker, he can never have him back. And he's so close, so close to having him back. He won't have to deal with this torture much longer, he just needs to find a way out.

He throws a Batarang, to try to disable his son. Unfortunately, it hits Jason's neck, and that's not the kind of wound he wanted to inflict. Still, he's relieved, his plans for his son's restoration are finally within reach.

And then the Joker hits the detonator.

Bruce doesn't remember much of what happens next. He knows that's not excusable, but he's been through a lot. He's allowed to fail every now and then.

He manages to pick out the Joker. He's relieved - his son has not made a villain out of either of them yet.

He doesn't manage to find Jason.

It's not his fault. He's only human, he can't save everyone. There are always people he can't save. It's slightly harder to swallow the fact that he was so close to getting Jason - the real Jason - back, but there's nothing that can be done about it. All he can do is try to forget about this dark chapter and hold onto the memory of the bright little child he lost.

They'll see each other again, eventually. It's only a matter of time.

But then, all of a sudden, Jason pops up again, working with Roy Harper and Koriand'r, formerly known as Speedy and Starfire. A team called the Outlaws. He's saddened to see a group of former heroes fall this low, but he's happy for the chance to get his son back. Maybe this time, he can convince him to go back on the right path.

He succeeds, for a while. They fight numerous battles together, as they rebuilt the lost trust and try to repair their relationship. Sometimes, Bruce can almost see his Jason in the man that stands before him.

And then Damian dies. Bruce is devastated by grief, and in his broken state of mind, decides to take Jason to Ethiopia to try and figure out a way to bring his child back. Surely, Jason wouldn't disagree with that? Damian's his little brother too, isn't he?

He's wrong. Jason snaps, questions his motives, his morality, his _love_. The bond that took so long to build is now gone.

He doesn't keep track of what happens to his wayward son next. Next thing he knows, his son is meddling with Black Mask's affairs, but he decides to let him operate as long as he obeys the Rule. He wants to be kind, be generous.

It works, until it doesn't. His son goes off and shoots the Penguin in the head. And this time, the world doesn't turn upside down, because Bruce has been waiting for this.

He's been too forgiving. He's used the carrot for a while now, time to bring the stick.

He disciplines his son. Unfortunately, he is unable to then put him where he belongs to restore him, but at least he's punished him appropriately.

Fortunately, Cobblepot lives. Once he is declared stable, Bruce decides to go and try to talk to Jason again. He comes bearing bad news, and needs to know that he can trust Jason to remain on the straight and narrow.

Their relationship mends, to the point where they can work together again. He knows that they have a lot more ground to cover, and he regrets how much time they have lost, but he is determined to get the monster out of Jason and get his son back in his arms. Yes, that would be enough.

And then, the Joker crashes back into their lives, and Bruce loses his son for the second time. And this time, even though his son is the one pulling the trigger, he doesn't know why he feels so hesitant to blame him. He feels an inexplicable urge to apologize to his son, but he doesn't understand why.

It doesn't matter. They'll see each other again. It's only a matter of time.

\----------------------------------------

Cass walks into Bruce's study and finds him sitting on the couch on the side, holding a framed photograph. It shows Jason and Bruce standing together, wearing suits. It was probably taken at one of the many galas that the Waynes attend.

She knows that Bruce is a flawed man. A deeply flawed man, whose failings often overshadow his strengths. She wants to believe in a hero that can save the world, can help everyone in need of it and deliver justice to those who have been wronged while not being cruel towards those who have gone wrong. She knows now that Bruce is not, and will never be, that man. The symbol he wears represents ideals that he can never hope to achieve.

At one point, she was willing to forgive his flaws and try to be what the Bat means to her. But as the years passed by, an insidious thought crept upon her - that they could never be what the symbol stood for.

And now her little brother is gone, again. And she can no longer stand by and let Bruce sort out his thoughts in his own fashion.

She looks him in the eye and tells him, "We need to talk."

Bruce looks back at her, surprised by her tone. She wants him to be honest, for once, but she is afraid that he will lie. And she doesn't know which would be worse.

Because she already knows the answers to her questions, but she doesn't know if he does. People can often lie to themselves very effectively.

"Did you want... Little Brother?"

"What kind of question is that?" She sees the anger cover his face. "He's my son, I loved him-"

"Wrong. I asked... something else. Did you want him?"

"Yes, of course." She can see the grief now. "We were so close to getting him back, to getting my real son back-"

"Stop." She closes her eyes, trying to stamp out her anger. There will be time for it later. "Did you want... my Little Brother? Did you... accept him? Like you accepted me?"

"What do you mean?" The anger is back, but it is barely covering the real emotion he feels - shame.

"When I... had done bad things. Had hurt people. Had _killed_ people. You told me... that I could do good. That I could _be_ good."

Bruce looks at her, confused.

"When I wanted to die... you told me...that I could _choose_ to live."

"When I had... killed and hurt again... you took me back. You... forgave me."

She takes a deep breath.

"You saved me. Again and again."

"Why didn't you try to save him?"

Bruce looks at her in horror, and then starts speaking very quickly.

"What do you mean, I didn't try to save him? I begged him to stop. I told him I loved him, so much. So many times. He was the one who threw it away, who threw all that we had done to try and get him back away!"

"You did not tell him... he was good. He wanted... forgiveness. You never told him... you forgive him."

She readies the final blow.

"Did you want him? Did you think... he was good? Did you forgive him?"

"...Yes."

It's a lie.

Cass isn't surprised. Sad, hurt, and maybe a little angry, but not surprised. Bruce knows how to lie to himself. But when people are... emotional, the body tells the truth.

And it's a truth she doesn't want to see.

Bruce Wayne is a flawed man. She has always known that. But she thought that there were some things that he would always, always believe in.

Apparently, she was wrong.

Bruce Wayne is a weak man. She has always known that. He does not believe in the idea of the Bat. Maybe there was a time in the past when he did. She doesn't know. But she knows that he only follows the ideals he created out of fear, not faith. She had hoped that Bruce had the strength to hold onto those ideals despite not believing in them.

Evidently, it was too much to hope for.

For the first time in her life, Cass wonders if Bruce is a good man. If the tragedy and pain and grief he has suffered have removed the good inside of him, leaving behind a man who cannot believe in his own son. She wonders if there will come a time when he will stop believing in her as well. It hurts her to think of her father falling this low.

She wonders how Jason bore the pain. The pain of a father who doesn't see you as his child. The very thought of it is enough to cripple her - it makes her heart hurt and her eyes water. Jason must have been very strong, to keep going with the pain and distrust hanging over his head.

And it is at that very instant, that Cassandra Cain makes a very important choice.

She will not allow Bruce to tell people what to think about Jason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my attempt to let the family catch up and get to the level of knowledge they need to be players in this series - starting with Cass and Bruce. I feel that this discussion is the one that cannot wait, the rest can be handled later.
> 
> Also, I've tried to conjecture what Bruce's thoughts about Jason would be to generate the sort of behaviour we see from him towards his own son in the various Red Hood stories we've had so far. I know it's not particularly flattering, but it feels appropriate that Bruce, being the centre of attention throughout his life, would make everything about himself. _A Death In The Family_ was, after all, turned into character development for Bruce, and had pretty much no other consequence until Jason returned. The Joker hasn't really helped him keep a check on his ego. That said, I'm not attempting to make him a villain - from his perspective, his thoughts are certainly reasonable. He is making a lot of demands and conjectures, but not all of them are baseless.


	2. A Grandfather's Regret (or is it remorse?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alfred looks back at the influence he's had in Jason's life. Along with Tim, he wonders why Jason holds them in high enough regard to put them in charge of disposing of his property.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a look at how Alfred takes the death of the person who is arguably his favourite grandson. He's looking back at all the choices he's made regarding Jason and wonders what could have been.
> 
> TW: There's a slight mention of child prostitution in this, and I would like to clearly state that I plan to utilize it to make a thematic point in the story, _not_ for merely adding more hurt to Jason's past for sympathy/pity points. Both here, and in the long run for this series. It's never going to be the focus of any story in the series, but it will be an important element of Jason's character. That said, I understand if it feels like a bridge too far. Apologies in advance.

Alfred wants to believe that this is a sudden tragedy, one that befell them out of nowhere. One that could not have been predicted, could not have been averted, no matter how hard they tried. One of the unpredictable twists of life that they just have to deal with. Like Master Jason's first death.

But as he pours himself another glass of Redbreast, he wonders if he is just fooling himself.

Despite being of Irish descent, Alfred has always considered himself British. He speaks the Queen's English, has served in Her Majesty's Armed Forces, and has always identified himself as a native of London.

Today, he wonders what that rejection of his own history has cost him. If his refusal to acknowledge his Irish ancestry is what led to him forgetting his own mother's voice.

After all, the reason Alfred ended up in the Waynes' service was that the Irish were more welcome in America than in Britain.

Alfred has, at every possible occasion, acted in Master Bruce's interests. He has even left his service to prevent himself from being an accomplice to his self-destructive impulses. He has stood by his charge, his _son_ , at every opportunity. No matter who stands on the other side.

Today, he wonders if there were times when he should have opposed his charge, put his foot down and said _no_. Alfred knows that it isn't his place to tell Master Bruce what is right and what is wrong, but that hasn't prevented him from voicing his opinion on the matter, and convincing Master Bruce to do better, to _be_ better.

Master Bruce has never stopped being the little child who lost his parents to forces beyond his control. And Alfred has never stopped being the kind, fatherly butler who wanted to make sure that his charge would never be denied anything he wanted.

But if Master Bruce is his son, was it not his responsibility to teach him restraint? Make him understand that there will always be people, things, events that are beyond his control? Teach him to settle for what he has, even though it might not be what he wants?

People often think of love as a soothing balm, that relieves all pains and makes the world easier to live in. A force that forges bonds that helps people weather the worst storms of their lives. An idea that inspires people to become better than who they were before.

Alfred has read enough Shakespeare to know that love is not that benign. Love can be a weapon, wielded with precision to pierce through those who seemed otherwise invulnerable. It can wreak havoc over people's lives in ways they may never recover from.

Jason knows it as well. He is, after all, well-versed in the classics. While all the children in the house may have been Master Bruce's, Jason was the only one Alfred would call his grandson. The little boy with whom he would spend hours in the library, the only child who was ever interested in cooking (and competent enough to be allowed in the kitchen), the young man who confided in him at times of great joy or overwhelming despair. A boy who had already grown up more than he should ever have had to by the time he came into the Manor.

An old memory comes back to Alfred, one that he has tried his damnedest to forget - Jason trudging down the stairs in the morning for an early breakfast, two weeks into his stay at the Manor. His face clearly displayed his troubled state of mind. Alfred decided to ask him what vexed him so, and then wished that he hadn't.

_"Could you tell me wha' Mr Wayne wants? He took me, but when I went to his room last night, he looked like he didn't want me."_

_It took a shamefully long time for Alfred to catch the boy's drift, so to speak. Long enough for him to start talking again._

_"Like, does he want me ta play hard to catch? I c'n do that, no problem." And by god, that was something Alfred had never thought he'd hear from a child that small._

_Before he could get his brain back into gear, Jason had ploughed onto another gut-punching idea._

_"Or does he want me to try 'nd seduce him? I'm not as good with words as some of the other boys, but he won't find my mouth lacking, I c'n bet on that." And no, Alfred decidedly did_ not _want to know how..._ skilled _... Master Jason is at..._ using _... his mouth. Even the barest hint of an idea sickens him._

 _"Or does he wanna fatten me up? Hey, don' look at me like that, 'm not judging, 'kay? But that's gonna take a pretty long time, 'nd 'tween ya and me, he looks like he could use the release." No, Master Bruce decidedly did_ not _want or need the kind of release Master Jason was suggesting._

_"He doesn't need ta worry 'bout hurtin me, 'kay? I'm good, got enough experience under ma belt. Heh." Alfred, for the life of him, could not see the joke._

_Finally, he got his act together._

_"Master Jason, Master Bruce has no..._ designs _on you." He had never thought he would have to have this kind of conversation. "He merely wants to help you get a better life, just like you deserve."_

 _Master Jason laughed a short, mirthless laugh, like a dog's bark. "Yeah, there's no such thing as a free lunch. And definitely no such thing as free food and shelter." He shook his head. "I'm serious, you can tell me wha' he wants. Or what you want. This isn't my first rodeo with rich folks, I'm pretty sure I'm fit for it." In the back of his mind, Alfred noticed that his usual Gotham accent was mostly gone. Still, that minor factoid was somewhat ignored in favour of grappling with the idea of_ being propositioned by a boy barely into puberty _. Lord help him._

 _To his great shame, Alfred let the anger enter his voice. "We are_ not _here to extract any..._ services _from you. I assure you, Master Bruce and I simply want to help you lead a good life, free from pain and hardship. You deserve to have the chance to live a normal life, and Master Bruce will give you just that. I know it might seem like we are here to exploit you, but I promise you, we will not. You have my word." He tried to add as much sincerity as he can to hopefully avoid scaring the boy._

_Master Jason's face ran through a gamut of expressions, before finally settling on a mixture of fear and shame. "I... 'M sorry, Alfred. 'M sorry, 'm sorry, I never meant to say that shit 'bout ya, I don' know wha' got inta me. I swear I won't do it again, please don' kick me out, please, I'll do wha'ever you want. I promise, just please don'-"_

_Alfred hurries to correct his mistake. "No apologies are necessary, Master Jason. As regrettable as you accusations were-" and he didn't miss Master Jason flinch at that, "-your suspicions were warranted. I know all you have is the word of an old man, but can it be enough for you to stay awhile and make your own conclusions?"_

_Master Jason slowly nodded, his shoulders shaking. For some unfathomable reason, he wondered if he had ever hosted one of the men who had..._ used _the child that now sits before him (and he couldn't prevent his lip from twitching at the mere thought of something so vile)._

May his entrails be turned inside out _, he thinks with uncharacteristic heat and viciousness,_ for eating at my table after having committed such a heinous crime _. Part of him wanted to go out the front door, knife in hand, and make good on the threat. He restrained himself - attending to Master Jason was more critical._

_"Master Jason, what would you like to eat for breakfast?" He tried to keep his voice as gentle as he can._

_Master Jason's face twisted in confusion before he hurriedly spoke up. "Anything's fine, sir. I can eat whatever you give me. I'm not picky." This time, he can hear the strain in his voice, attempting to keep the accent out._

_Alfred wanted to tell Master Jason that he had the power to choose, before deciding that it would probably be too stressful. And that was the last thing he wanted. Instead, he decided to pick on the other sticking point._

_"Master Jason, I am no knight, you have no need to call me Sir. Alfred will suffice." He wondered what caused Master Jason to suddenly turn so deferential, before deciding that he was probably better off not knowing. "What do you think of pancakes?" He asks, trying to give the boy some control while not being overwhelming. The boy nods furiously. "That sounds great."_

_"Can I help you?"_

_"I assure you, Master Jason, you do not need to do_ anything _to earn your place here. I am perfectly able and willing to prepare breakfast for all the occupants of the Manor._

_"No no no, I wasn't sayin nothin like that... I jus' wanna 'elp. I know how to cook, I was doin' it for my ma since I was sev'n. She was sick, and 'tween cancer and heroin she wasn't really up for cooking. So I used ta do it. I know I'm not v'ry good at it, but I wanna be." Apparently, Master Jason was prone to devolving into his thick Gotham accent when he was troubled. If he had his way, the boy would never have to sound like that again._

_Alfred decided to let Master Jason join him... they wouldn't be able to change his thought process in a day, and maybe teaching the boy to cook would be an acceptable way to let him feel like he belongs before he gets used to the idea of being given a gift without strings attached._

_"Very well, Master Jason. If you could be so kind, could you retrieve the bowl of batter from the fridge? It's on the third rack from the bottom..."_

Alfred has fought in wars. He remembers what it was like to fight alongside a team, people who became more like brothers than colleagues. Evidently, the saying about the blood of the covenant was right after all.

He remembers the rage he felt when he saw his close mates struck down, the deep-seated desire for vengeance bubbling up and driving him on to obliterate the opposition.

He has seen his share of horrors. Committed a few too many of them, too. But he cannot, for the life of him, bring himself to regret killing a soldier who struck down a man at his side. He had been fortunate enough, or rather unfortunate enough, to fight in units that were small enough to form bonds, but large enough to not be covert operations units. (That period of his life came later.)

He remembers passing through a town they had liberated, where they had killed the enemy troops that were trying to flee by running through the buildings, trying to use civilians and the superior moral fibre of the Brits against them.

It failed, nonetheless. They were flushed out. But they did take a few civilians down with them.

One of the girls working at the brothel had been among those unfortunate enough to get killed. Alfred had managed to get there in time to save another, shooting the cowardly bastard in the knee after he had slit the throat of his first hostage and tried to throw the body at Alfred as a distraction. The stupidity on display might have been funny, if not for the gruesome consequences.

While the idiot was reeling from the gunshot, the surviving girl took the knife he had used to slit her compatriot's throat and drove it into his stomach. As Alfred tried to regain his composure and comprehend what was going on, she had removed the knife from his gut and driven it down between his ribs. She repeated the motion quite a few times before Alfred came back to his senses and pulled her back.

Later, at night, when the newly freed people of the town were drinking with the troops that had rescued them, the girl came to him and offered him her... _services_ for the night, free of charge. He gracefully refused, but his curiosity was too great to merely let the conversation drop.

"Why did you... kill him... like that?" His French was, regrettably, extremely poor.

"She was more than just a whore for someone to own for a night. And so am I." Watching the bewilderment cross Alfred's face, she laughs and shakes her head at him, almost dismissive.

For some reason, Alfred thinks Master Jason would have understood the joke.

Alfred can't help but wonder if Master Bruce remembers that period of Master Jason's life at the Manor. If his story of Master Jason includes the time when he was willing to offer himself up to Bruce in the worst possible way. At least when he served as Robin, he could defend himself.

Irrespective of who lives and who dies, Master Jason has never been allowed to tell his own story.

Alfred shakes his head, as he pours himself yet another glass of Redbreast.

\----------------------------------------

Tim watches Alfred down five glasses of a whiskey he's never heard of before, before intervening.

"Hey Alfred, mind if I join you?"

Alfred has always been there when they needed him. The least he can do is return the favour.

Alfred nods and looks at the chair next to him, as they sit down on the stools kept near the kitchen island. Normally, Alfred would baulk at someone consuming anything there, but these aren't normal times, are they?

Tim gets himself an empty glass before taking a seat and watches Alfred pour both of them a couple fingers. The uncharacteristic shake in Alfred's arm as he pours Tim's drink is the only other sign of him being drunk right now.

Tim picks up his glass and sips it slowly. Usually, he would just down the entire thing and try to use the alcohol to summon up some courage, but both Alfred and the whiskey deserve better. He takes a deep breath, pulls a sealed envelope out of his pocket, and hands it to Alfred.

Maybe it's a sign of how done Alfred is with the shit his family does, or maybe it's a sign of how much he's let his guard drop under the influence of alcohol. Still, whichever it is, the consequence is the same - Alfred hesitates only for a second before opening the envelope and pulling out a couple of sheets stapled together and covered with writing in a hand that Tim is now painfully familiar with.

As Alfred reads on, pages rustling quietly as his grip becomes more and more uncertain, his lower lip quivers uncharacteristically. Eventually, when he is done, he lets the papers fall to the floor and allows the tears to leak from his eyes.

Tim just holds his hand through the entire thing. Alfred deserves to be able to cry his heart out after this. Losing a grandson is something that no one should ever have to experience.

Losing the same grandson twice...

There is suffering too terrible to name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, the chapter is pretty harsh on Alfred, but I think that overall, his mistakes are more... Forgivable. He's stuck between a rock and a hard place here, and here he's coming to terms with the cost of choosing Bruce over all else. After all, I don't think he agrees with most of Bruce's choices, just sticks by him out of a sense of duty and love.
> 
> The bit about Alfred being Irish is to add to the idea of competing influences. I thought it was a reasonable assumption since it was always odd to me that an Brit had obligations to an American family.
> 
> Again, I apologize if the bit about child prostitution feels exploitative or tasteless. I will freely confess that it is not an issue I understand well enough to write in detail about, hence my usage of it will be limited. It felt like the most powerful way I had of writing about the objectification Jason suffers, in all its forms. I hope I didn't blow it.


	3. A Brother's Pride (but why is there sadness?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damian knows that sacrificing oneself for the benefit of a noble cause is an act worthy of the highest praise. So why does he feel sad about Todd's actions?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damian tries to work out why he feels sad about Jason's death. Dick tries to help.
> 
> NOTE: I've added this to the beginning notes, and I'm repeating it here for completeness' sake - this entire story occurs over the course of the evening, night and morning following Jason's death. I'm going to be adding rough timeframes for each chapter, in case any of you are interested.
> 
> This chapter occurs over the course of the night following Jason's death. It's occurring about the same time as Chapter 1.

Damian had heard of the idea of sacrifice at a very young age. He remembers how Grandfather spoke of those that had died in service of the League - with a level of respect and reverence that was often shocking. Back then, it sounded... absurd, to have the man who ruled the world bow his head to a corpse for dying. But according to Grandfather, these people had made the ultimate sacrifice to further the goals of the League and deserved the highest possible level of respect.

His mother had been less kind to those who sacrificed themselves in the line of duty. She felt (and probably still feels) that death indicated that a person did not wish to continue fighting for their cause any longer.

(It is possible that this opinion had been influenced by the return of Jason Todd, who had managed to come back from the other side to continue to fight for a cause that had killed him. Even though he professed to reject the Bats, he had fought for the same goal - to free Gotham from the clutches of crime.)

Father and his associates seem to have different views on the subject. While heroes who perish in the line of duty are often revered and mourned, self-sacrifice is still seen as a taboo. Which is understandable, considering how closely knit together the entire superhero community is. While in the League it had been easy to see the dead as mere soldiers, a death in the hero community often means the loss of a friend, a lover, a parent.

 _A brother_.

Logically, Damian knows that Todd's actions had probably saved the family. Even ignoring his delusional thoughts about being visited by Death (who was also apparently connected to 'punk rock'), it was likely that attempting to escape would have led to their deaths. After all, even Father was unable to comprehend the Joker, how did the rest of the family stand a chance? While the possibility of the Joker going back on his deal was not insignificant, Todd's actions had given the family a chance of a clean exit with minimal casualties. And considering that initial scans of the equipment the Joker had used proved to be magical in nature, it had certainly been the safest option. Even Gordon had found no clues about where they were being held, and apparently both Thomas and Kane had covered the area of their captivity a couple of times without finding a single sign of their presence. In fact, they had gone unnoticed for a few blocks carrying Todd's corpse before Signal found them.

So why does Damian not feel proud? He should be in awe of the fact that Todd, the least reliable member of their party, had proven his loyalty to their cause by sacrificing himself for it. Yet all he can do is regret the loss of a brother. He feels sadness and anger, but pride is strangely missing. He does not understand why.

It had been the optimal choice for Todd to make, to satiate the Joker's bloodlust by offering himself. And yet Damian wants to be able to revert that decision, prevent Todd from throwing his life away for theirs. He feels sadness, at the idea that his first brother is gone. Anger, at the ease with which Todd had acquiesced to the Joker's demands. But no pride.

He cannot understand why.

Damian wonders whether there is anything that he could have said to Todd to stop him from throwing his life away. If there was a specific combination of words that would have convinced him that the price he paid for their freedom and safety was too great. Or if they had already been doomed when the Joker got them, because Todd had drifted too far away from them to be able to reach him.

And at that thought, he looks back even further, going back months, and then years, trying to find out how he should have interacted with Todd to have a chance of convincing him - only to find that the number of non-trivial conversations he had had with his brother was quite low. He wondered how that was possible - Todd had known him longer than most of his new family, how did he manage to have such a weak bond with his very first brother? The one who had comforted him after hard days of training at the league, even though he was barely capable of speech and action? The one who had always been kind and gentle with him even when the pit raged inside him so violently that even as a child, Damian could see it as clearly as he could see Todd himself?

If this was truly inevitable, he regrets not having complimented Todd more. He regrets not joining his brother for discussing books, and not staying around him more to acquaint himself better with the man's cooking. He regrets all the casual insults to his heritage and upbringing, as well as the numerous times he had disparaged his brother's capabilities. Most of all, he regrets not telling Todd that he was... an above-average person to have as a comrade.

Damian does not know how to negotiate these thoughts he is having. He feels the need to discuss them with someone, even though that is not something he is wont to do.

Father is obviously not going to be of much use - he does not deal with his feelings well at all. Even the League understood that there are some emotions that need to be negotiated, not repressed.

He thinks about going to Pennyworth, but rejects the idea immediately. The old butler clearly cared for Todd, and was likely mourning in private. He does not need to add to the man's grief.

He could use the phone that Timothy handed him about an hour earlier to call Mother, but even the thought of that makes him feel... something. He doesn't know what it is, but it _hurts_ and he doesn't want to deal with that right now.

He thinks about Grayson. Grayson has had Todd die on his watch before, and has dealt with the passing of various teammates as well. He should know the best way of coping with events like this.

Having decided who he wants to approach, Damian decides to leave his bed and search for Grayson.

\----------------------------------------

Dick snaps out of his reverie as he hears three sharp raps on the door to his room.

 _Who could it be_? He wonders, as he goes to open the door. His guess would have been Tim or Bruce, maybe Cass.

Intead, he is faced with a surly prepubescent teen frowning at the floor.

"Damian?" He's not supposed to be up this late today. They don't have patrol tonight, he's supposed to be sleeping. "Why are you still awake?"

"I have something important to discuss with you. It concerns Todd."

Dick feels the colour drain from his face. Considering Damian's expression, this can't be good.

"May I come inside? We should probably discuss this in a more comfortable fashion than at your threshold."

"Yeah, sure, come in, Little D." Dick replies, still slightly dazed.

He leads Damian into his room and watches as his little brother climbs into the bed and curls up with his back resting on a pillow. He decides to sit on the edge of the bed, so as to not intrude into Damian's personal space.

The two of them remain silent, Dick giving Damian the space he needs to open up on his own terms.

"How did you cope with Todd's first death?" Evidently Damian had decided to pull no punches tonight.

Dick knew where this conversation was headed. Normally, he would put off a discussion like this for another time when the loss wasn't as sharp, but he couldn't do that now. His brother needed him, needed to hear how he managed to get past the death of his Little Wing at the hands of the Joker.

"The first time Jason died... I wasn't there." Dick tries to stop his breath from hitching, but he can barely keep his voice under control. "I didn't know he was dead. I missed his funeral, and only found out about it from Alfred later."

Damian's gaze shoots up. In other circumstances, he would probably have let out a scathing comment, but now he was likely too drained for that. Dick wanted to laugh at that, how the circumstances seemed to be granting him a reprieve he did not deserve, but all the laughter had seemingly left the manor when they brought Jason's body home.

"I was off-world, on a mission with the Titans. Bruce didn't bother telling me because he didn't think I'd care. And as much as I want to hate him for that, I can't say that he was entirely unjustified in thinking that. We didn't really have a good relationship back then."

 _Focus_ , Dick tells himself. _You can break down later_.

"I only learned of it when I came back. And all I could think of was all the ways I had told him that he didn't belong here, and how that had led to a little kid dying."

Damian doesn't respond, choosing to instead continue looking at his eyes with a penetrating expression. He could almost feel the gaze looking through his soul.

"So when Tim and you came along, I decided to step up and be a proper big brother to you both. Because I don't want to make another child in this house feel so alone that they go charging to their death."

Damian looks into Dick's eyes for a while, before speaking again.

"In the League, Grandfather used to tell us to be proud of those who sacrificed themselves for our cause. Our League tells us the same thing about those who have been martyred in the line of duty - that they were heroes who should be respected for their selfless actions."

He paused, in what looked like an attempt to collect his thoughts.

"I should be proud of him, but that's not what I feel. He did what he needed to save our lives, but I want to be able to stop him from making that choice. I... don't understand."

And not for the first time that day, Dick doesn't know what to say to his little brother.

But at least he can hug Damian. So he does.

"Grayson, what are you-"

"Shh... no need to talk, Dami. It's going to be okay."

He hears Damian's breath hitch, and then hears it become oddly regular as the small child tries to get his emotions back under check.

"It's okay to cry, Little D... It's okay. I got you. Let go."

He can feel the struggle going on inside the small bundle that lies tucked into his embrace. His training fighting his natural impulses.

But as Dick's rubs small circles on his back, he feels a dam break, as Damian begins to sob into his t-shirt. First slowly, softly, and then getting louder, as he stopped trying to be Ra's Al Ghul's heir and reverted to the 14-year old child that he was.

And as Dick held him through it, he wondered if he could ever find an answer to the question he had been asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this does justice to Damian and Dick's characters. I want to use the idea of Damian being close to Jason but trying to repress those feelings out of his desire to align with Bruce. I think Dick would have a lot to say about dealing with regrets left after losing a brother that suddenly, so that's why he's here.


	4. A Mother's Loss (is unimaginable)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talia comes to take Jason's body. Bruce is... not willing to comply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been sitting with this chapter in my head for a while. I'm not sure if this is how I want it to go, but I guess I'm used to my writing never going as planned.

Talia sits listlessly in the back of the modified Corolla driving her through Gotham, staring at the tablet in her hand. She goes through the report over and over again, trying to see if there is anything she has missed. She needs to be strong now - there will be time for mourning later.

The car inches through the dense traffic, but Talia barely pays any heed to the world outside the vehicle. All that is now, is herself and the report on her son's death.

_Her son's death._

Even though Damian is the son she gave birth to, the one that carries her blood, he has always belonged to her Beloved. Despite being raised alongside her, Damian has always followed his father, has _chosen_ him like her Beloved chose the rest of his sons.

Jason, despite landing up in her arms by pure happenstance, had always been _hers_.

Despite the array of parental figures he had the liberty of choosing from, Jason had chosen her. Had chosen her despite all her flaws, chosen her with a fierce, fervent loyalty that she had not seen before.

And she had returned that love, in full.

She had used him to try to get back to her beloved, yes, but she had loved him and cared for him nonetheless. And Jason had shown that he understood what she had been doing, and yet had not let it cloud his appreciation of the depths of her affection towards him.

Maybe in the face of an uncaring parent who would put their personal moral code over justice for their children, a manipulative seductress who gave his life _some_ value had been the superior choice.

Over time, her love for Bruce has faded, the epithet of 'Beloved' becoming just another weapon in her arsenal instead of a powerful double-edged sword. Her love for Damian has become a bittersweet thing, pain and warmth and nostalgia all rolled into one. But her love for Jason has endured, despite all odds.

They had both been united in trying to prove to Bruce that their humanity would not be denied.

After all, the World's (Second) Greatest Detective had grown used to seeing the world in black and white.

The car finally turns out of the crowded streets that fell within the city limits and speeds up on its way through the suburban areas. She smiles, remembering one trip through Gotham with Jason during which he had ranted on for a solid hour about how Bruce couldn't call himself a Gothamite because he didn't even live inside Gotham, instead choosing what Jason had called 'a house on a hill, looking down on the subjects'.

The smile soon fades, with the realization that she will never get another trip like that again.

Bruce is used to taking his children for granted - life has conspired to provide him with the assurance that he will never be left alone, despite all his faults and misdeeds. Every child he has forsaken has been replaced by another all too willing to throw their very selves away for the scraps of affection he grants.

He does not know loss, for there have been enough people lining up to make him feel whole.

Talia's love is not that thin. Her love runs deep, and it is fierce and protective and vengeful in a way Bruce's excuse for the emotion has never been and will never be. She will not stand to the side and let her son's death be utilized to further Bruce's pointless bouts of guilt.

Talia wonders what Jason thought before he died. Was he happy, sad, angry, or resigned, or did he feel nothing at all? Was he satisfied with how this life had turned out? Did he pray for his father to somehow save him? _Did he pray for her_?

And now that the thought has taken root, she wonders what she could have done to spare her son his gruesome fate.

After all, the fact of the matter was that Jason did not deserve to die to save a group of people who were, for the most part, not worth the sacrifice. They did not care for him, _have never cared for him_ , and he threw away his life to save them.

She cannot condemn the act _entirely_ \- after all, Damian had been among the people he had rescued. No matter how distant he has become, he is still _hers_ , and she is not the type to disown her children whenever convenient.

Still, it is a bitter pill to swallow, to hear that her eldest, the boy who had grown too fast into manhood and borne pain that his so-called 'family' either could not or _would not_ acknowledge, had again thrown himself away for the sake of people who could barely stand his presence.

She wonders if the Waynes are celebrating getting rid of their problem child, and getting out of a deadly trap unharmed to boot. After all, it was unlikely that anyone in that house would be sympathetic to Jason. Even Damian had mostly fallen in line with Bruce's views on their lost bird.

The car turns onto the road that leads to the Manor. She is struck by how larger-than-life the whole ordeal is - a twenty-minute drive down to a cul-de-sac with the gates to the Wayne properties on the end of it. Which itself lay on a natural elevation. Jason's accusation of them living in 'a house on a hill' was evidently truer than it had seemed before.

She steels herself, pushing the regrets and mistakes from her mind. There will be time for that later.

She has to get him first.

\----------------------------------------

As the front door to the Manor opened and Alfred Pennyworth's old, worn-down visage greeted her, she realized how much time had passed since she had last come here. It felt surreal, coming back to a place that she had practically regarded as her own once. A time when her judgement had been clouded by young love, had yearned for someone to not simply look at her as the Daughter of the Demon.

It was a fool's hope. Bruce would never be able to do that. It was foolish to even think of the possibility.

As she strides into one of the dining rooms - the one for the family, her brain supplies - she sees Bruce and his brood sitting with plates before them, picking at their food.

She notes, absently and somewhat accidentally, that Damian is still a vegetarian. She is, for some reason, inordinately proud of him for it. She decides to let herself revel in the pride for a while, before pushing it to the back of her mind. _That can be dealt with later_.

She has to hold her child first.

"I'm here to take Jason's body."

Bruce, somewhat unsurprisingly, bristles at that.

"No."

And before she can go into the argument she has prepared, Timothy Drake joins in.

"Please forgive him, he is... distraught. You can take him, I'll show you to him. Would you mind joining us for breakfast in the meantime?"

Richard Grayson, evidently, has managed to recompose himself, and has decided to side with Bruce.

"Tim! What are you saying? That's Talia al Ghul right there, she's-"

"Jason's mother, and the person he wanted to hand his body over to in the event of his death. As the person in charge of disposing of his assets, I am going to obey his wishes on such a crucial issue to the letter."

He points his fork at the plate before him.

"That said, we're at breakfast now. I think this is going to be a long day for me, so I'd like to eat properly before I get to my duties regarding the management of his estate." His eyes cloud over, and his voice acquires a minute tremble. "Jason... he always used to tell me to eat properly."

And as much as Talia wants to be angry at the boy for keeping her from her son, she cannot. He had obviously cared for her son, and the sentiment had likely been mutual - he wouldn't have given him the responsibility of handling his belongings otherwise.

She nods and looks to Alfred, who points her towards an empty chair at the table next to Tim. It doesn't take much imagination to wonder whose seat it was.

 _Later_ , she tells herself. She knows that she is engaging in some of Bruce's worst tendencies here, but she is stuck in enemy territory now. That does qualify as a good reason to repress her emotions, right?

Or should she allow herself to feel the pain and grief and anger, just to show Bruce that she will not treat the death of her son with unfeeling coldness, like he does?

She decides in favour of coldness - given how hostile the crowd in front of her is likely to be, she needs to be on top of her game. She doesn't have the luxury of being fuelled by emotions the way Jason is - her anger and sorrow will only distract her.

"I'm not letting you take my son." Evidently, Bruce is intent on not letting other people have access to Jason, for some incomprehensible reason.

She is not going to bother trying to figure it out. "Considering that you've managed to get him killed again, I don't think you have that right."

Richard laughs, but it is filled with venom, not mirth. "Wow, Timmy, your guest here seems to be the randomly vindictive type."

Timothy shrugs. "We're allowing Bruce to spout his daily dose of bullshit here. Makes sense to give her a chance to grieve openly as well."

Talia raises her eyebrow. "I do not need your pity, boy."

"No, but you can share in my grief over losing a person we both deeply cared about." Timothy replies.

"I might permit you to do so, but not _him_." She spits the last word out with as much hate as she can muster without losing her composure.

"Yeah, I'm not sharing in his excuse for grief either. He's most likely trying to figure out how Jason's death here impacts his character arc, and how he needs to change to become a more powerful hero. I, fortunately, have not gotten to the point of thinking of my family as a plot device for my life story."

It's strange... to hear him speak of life as a story. Jason used to do that, in the few lighter moments she had shared with him, discussing classic literature.

They hadn't had that many memories like that, between her attempts to free herself from her father's control and his adventures as the Red Hood.

The butler puts down a few plates in front of her, making her look away from the people at the table and focus on the food. She decides to eat - there's nothing to be done now but acquiesce to the one ally she seems to have at the moment. It's her best shot, and likely also the easiest one. Still, in her worry over whether this gambit will work out or not, she doesn't really bother looking at exactly what had been served - later, the most she can recall is some eggs, sausages, toast, and a cup of Darjeeling, but nothing else.

When breakfast is done, they clean up a bit after themselves before Tim readies himself to lead her down to the Batcave. She supposes it should have been obvious - with the mention of magical restraints and someone called Death, it was likely that Bruce wanted to properly examine Jason's body, and maybe bring in some consultants on magic. She guesses that the consultant being brought in is most likely John Constantine or J'onn J'onzz, considering that they are the most experienced people in that sphere. And that she had seen their names in the file she had been reading, stolen using her line into the Batcomputer.

She wonders how Bruce could type up a detailed report on his dead son _on the day of his death_. With his corpse next to him. That takes a level of coldness that Talia cannot conceive of. She hopes she never gets to the point when she can.

Bruce, at this point, decides to physically intercede.

"I won't let you take my son from me."

"Oh please, he stopped being _your son_ long ago. From what he's told me, you'd disowned him _before_ he died. And your actions towards him after he returned to life haven't exactly been confidence-inspiring material."

"I don't care what lies you have to say about me. I won't let you take him."

"This charade is meaningless. You lost your son, and by some magical twist of fate, he was given back to you. Do you know what you do when that happens? You hold your child as close as you can. You never let them go, you never put them in harm's way again for the sake of your own ego."

"Funnily enough, have you done that for Damian? He hasn't told me anything about you 'holding him close' after he came back to life."

"And because you did not hear that particular tree fall, it must not have happened... are you even listening to yourself, Bruce?"

 _To think I once called him my Beloved_ , she thinks. She is thankful that her naivete hadn't ended up causing her terrible heartbreak as it had done to Jason.

Because Jason had loved Bruce, loved him more than anything else in the whole wide world, and it had also cost him everything he had.

Bruce walks towards her, his fists curling in and readying for a punch. Or two. Or a hundred.

But before he can even get within three feet of her, a blur comes in from her left, knocking Bruce off his feet with a motion too fast to see.

It is silent - too silent, and she curses herself for being so distracted. And then she realizes who it was that had moved, and reassured herself that all the focused attention in the world wouldn't have helped her.

After all, Cassandra Cain is not called _The One Who Is All_ for nothing.

Bruce picks himself up, his face bearing an expression of profound pain. It is likely that not all of the pain is physical, but still, at least some of it is.

Talia lets herself feel happy about Bruce being hurt in some way. _He deserves it_ , she thinks.

Before Bruce can speak, Cassandra does. She is evidently not interested in what he has to say.

"No. You want... to use him. For yourself. I won't let you. It is... wrong."

Bruce looks shocked. It was likely that he would have denied it, if it hadn't been his favourite daughter saying those words.

"He died... for _us_. You want to... use it... for _yourself_. You are not... the only one who has lost him. We lost him too."

And wasn't that the crux of the issue? They had _all_ lost Jason.

Cassandra's brevity did end up distilling down a complex maze of emotions into a somewhat simple act of injustice. She had clearly learned the power of words from Jason. It was... funny, and somewhat endearing, how bits of him were being kept alive by his siblings.

She wonders if it would have hurt to see those pieces of her son if she had seen them in Richard or Bruce.

She decides to not press her luck and let Bruce get in another outburst, instead indicating to Timothy and Cassandra that she is ready to move on to the task at hand. The two of them look at each other, no doubt having a silent exchange of some sort. Finally, Cassandra turns to her, looks her over in a fashion reminiscent of her mother, and nods at her brother.

Timothy nods back and beckons her towards a bookcase that turns out to be hiding an elevator. She isn't surprised - that sounds like something Bruce would do, set up a secret door to his secret lair.

The three of them - mother, brother and sister - step into the elevator. As it descends into the cave, the tension mounts.

Talia isn't ready for this. But then again, is anyone ever ready to cremate their son?

She had assured him that his instructions on the matter would be obeyed. He was afraid of coming back again, and who could blame him? The first time he came back, he ended up scarred for life and permanently separated from the father he had loved so much. Why would he ever want to risk repeating that?

The lift pinged as it reached its destination. Timothy was holding the button to keep the doors closed, giving her a moment to steel herself again. It also gave the other two a moment to do the same.

Soon, she will be able to hold her child. She will take his hand, and beg for forgiveness for abandoning him - even though she knows she does not deserve it. She will hold him as close as she can, as she pushes away the unimaginable thoughts that she is barely keeping at bay.

But as the door opens, they realize that all their attempts to remain composed were pointless.

"Jason?"

"Hi guys. And wow, the three of you synced that up really well."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I got Talia right here... I wanted her to come across as a grieving mother filled with righteous anger at the people who probably don't deserve it right now. As shitty as Bruce has been towards Jason, he is not responsible for his death here - the blame for that lies squarely on the Joker. There's a _lot_ of other stuff Bruce can be blamed for, but that isn't one of them.


	5. A Sister's Resolve (is unshakeable)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After witnessing Jason's return, Barbara and Cass try to decide whose side they are on. After all, what are the odds that Bruce and Jason would ever agree on anything?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to round off with Barbara since I think her perspective is more valuable with Jason alive than with him dead. I hope I'm getting the characterisation right.

Barbara has always kept a healthy distance between herself and the rest of the Bats. She is close enough to be a part of the family - her boyfriend is Nightwing and was Batman for a while, one of her protégés is Bruce's daughter (and everyone's favourite Bat under the mask) and one of her primary roles is to run tech support for the brood - but she tries to keep in mind that she is not Bruce even if she shares some of his beliefs.

And yet, when Jason's body was brought back into the Batcave, it felt like the loss of a brother.

Maybe it was because Jason had tried to build a relationship with her (a romantic one on his end, yes, but he had tried to establish _some_ connection). Still, she had shot him down because she, like Dick, had thought of him as a poor replacement for the incredibly likeable acrobat. And then the kid had died while searching for any form of family that would accept him, and she was left with Dick counting all the instances where they could have tried to be better friends to convince him that there was something worth staying for here in Gotham.

Or maybe it was because he understood and accepted the rage she felt about the Joker going unpunished for his acts of violence. She never really sat down and talked about it with him, not really, because she was afraid of what she would find out about herself in that conversation, but she could empathise with his need for vengeance, in the face of the gross miscarriage of justice.

Or maybe it was because Jason, being a staunch feminist, always treated her with respect sometimes bordering on worship, even when they were at odds. And it felt good to be respected and not looked down upon for being female, which was sadly a thing that most of the Bats were, to some extent, wont to engage in. Even the arrival of Cassandra 'The One Who Is All' Cain-Wayne had done little to change that.

Whatever it was, when she heard Duke talk about seeing the Bats carrying Jason, and how he was not responding, she pushed down the obvious conclusion to the back of her mind, rejecting it with a ferocity she didn't know she had. It was too harsh, too cruel, for Jason to have to be the one to pay the ultimate price for Batman's shenanigans with the Joker. _Again_.

And when she saw Bruce carrying Jason's body into the section of the Cave decidedly _not_ meant for the treatment of patients, she averted her eyes from the screen, in a vain attempt to deny what had happened by ignoring it. She knew it wasn't healthy or fair or _right_ , but sue her - she was allowed to react like that in a situation like this.

It wasn't fair, how Jason seemed to be able to throw his life away so quickly to save them. As if it would hurt less if he was the one to fall.

Who was she kidding, that's precisely what Jason thought.

Not like they had given him reasons to believe otherwise. Bruce seemed to want to hold onto the belief that he was reconciling with his son. However, if giving someone basic decency is your idea of showing them that you love them, you probably don't have a good handle on interpersonal relationships. She had thought about telling Bruce that, sometimes, but had always decided against it.

Was that why Jason was dead now? Because she didn't tell Bruce to show him that he actually loved him?

Because even though Jason seemed happy with not being thrown into Arkham at first sight, every son has the right to expect a _lot_ more than that from their father.

She had made a call to not go to mourn with the family. She didn't want to get irrationally angry at the rest of them. It wasn't their fault. It wasn't.

Yes, they could have done many things in the past to prevent Jason from believing that he needed to die for his family for some form of redemption, but they weren't the ones who forced him to pull the trigger. That was _entirely_ on the Joker.

\----------------------------------------

When Barbara had received the alert on Talia having entered Gotham, her instincts and her habits had both told her to immediately warn Bruce and get ready for a fight. After all, the Daughter of the Demon was one of the most threatening enemies that the Bats had, and Talia's deep personal connections to the members of the Wayne family made her a significantly more troubling opponent than even Ra's al Ghul.

She had been Bruce's lover. Damian's mother. _Jason's mother_.

She hadn't stopped being Jason's mother. They'd managed to separate her from Damian, but Jason clung to her with a fierce attachment he didn't seem to feel for Bruce.

Against her better judgement, she had instead made the call to not say anything to Bruce and send an alert to Tim instead. Hopefully, he'd see it. He had been appointed Jason's executor, he deserved to know.

As a precaution, she had pulled up a live feed of the m- _room_ where Jason was being kept.

And because of that one decision, she is now witnessing Jason Todd coming back to life.

When Jason opens his eyes and stumbles out of the bed that he was lying on, Barbara nearly jumps out of her own chair. Truth be told, this shouldn't be as surprising to her as it is. But then again, he's just coming back to life by himself, without any Lazarus Pit. That, as far as she can tell, should not be happening.

Last she checked, dead humans don't just come back to life on their own. That's just not something that happens. Right?

Jason walks out of the... the _morgue_ he was in - Christ, that was something she wouldn't wish upon anyone. (Okay, maybe the Joker, but that guy would probably find it funny, and that would defeat the purpose.) He looks unsteady, and Babs wonders if that's due to the shock of waking up after dying or because he doesn't have full motor control yet. He manages to get to the table with his clothes without falling over, but the bedsheet he has wrapped around himself had come close to making him trip over quite a few times. He picks up his gear as well, and Babs wonders why he feels the need to do that in his own home.

Does Jason still think of the Wayne Manor as home?

It hurts her to know that she doesn't know. That in the years Jason has been back with them, she hasn't bothered to find out whether he even likes staying in the same place as the father who he is always at odds with.

Still, he doesn't really have much of a reason to be scared of Bruce, does he?

Jason heads into the showers, and Barbara takes that moment to try and alert the people in the upper floors of the house proper when she stumbles onto a scene she wouldn't have thought was possible - Talia al Ghul eating breakfast with the rest of the Waynes in the Manor. Dimly, she recalls that Tim had spoken to her about Jason wanting to hand his body over to her, she probably had some specific instructions about his last rites.

She wonders how she should alert the rest of the Bats when Jason emerges from the shower, pistol in one hand and towel in the other. Some of his gear has been strapped onto him.

 _Okay, he is definitely nervous about being here_. Again, she wonders why that would be the case. She can't think of a good reason for Jason to be this scared of the Cave.

She gets a notice from Bruce to arm up the internal defence systems in the Cave, and dutifully ignores it. She's done with listening to Bruce's bad ideas, especially when they are regarding Jason.

Jason is loading himself up with more knives than she thought a human being could carry on their person. She knows that some of them were in places he hadn't been searched for when he had been brought to the Cave in tougher times.

Although given what she had heard about him materialising a cutting implement of some sort out of thin air, she doesn't know why he needs any physical knives at all.

Shit, Jason could summon weapons out of thin air, and he'd been in the Cave unguarded for that kind of stuff.

If Jason had ever actually wanted it, he could have probably killed them. Twenty times over.

Barbara notices the elevator coming down towards the Cave. She knows that Tim, Cass and Talia are inside it, she's been sent an alert by the Cave systems.

The elevator comes down into the Cave, and she can see that Talia, Tim and Cass are in it. They are about to step out when they see Jason suiting up.

"Jason?" Their exclamation echoes in the silence of the Cave.

"Hi guys. And wow, the three of you synced that up really well."

And the shock bowls her over yet again. _He's actually alive_.

The three people who have just arrived seem equally shocked. Barbara cannot blame them - it isn't every day that they get to see someone come back to life.

The trio slowly walks out of the elevator, hesitantly approaching Jason as if he was a wild animal instead of their lost family member. Who was she kidding, Tim would behave that way around Jason at the best of times. It was odd to see Cass and Talia al Ghul do that, though. At least with Cass, it was somewhat understandable, she probably saw something to be wary of. But Talia's reaction was surprising - Barbara wouldn't have pegged the Daughter of the Demon as the hesitant type in _any_ situation.

Still, it was reasonable to expect some level of shock and wariness towards your child inexplicably coming back to life.

Jason was evidently aware of what his mother was feeling, and he broke the deathly (ha) silence that had descended on the room.

"It's okay, T. I'm good here. Mostly intact, mentally and physically. I think."

And that seems to break the spell - Talia nearly flies forward to envelop Jason in a hug that seems tighter than those that Dick gives. Surprisingly, Jason doesn't immediately try to struggle out of it - instead, he seems to be snuggling into her hold. Barbara doesn't remember seeing him do that in _years_ and feels the sting of betrayal at Jason showing affection towards someone who has always been an enemy to their family.

But then again, she doesn't really know what their relationship is like. She wants to blame it on manipulation, but it feels wrong to call it that when everything happening before her feels so _genuine_ \- Cass is smiling at the pair, and even Tim's lips are bent in a slight upward twist .

Barbara can feel something twist at her heart too, and she fights off the urge to smile and feel happy. She doesn't know why, but it feels like agreeing to this would be going back on something she has held onto for a long time.

And that's when Bruce and his entourage come crashing in.

\----------------------------------------

When Bruce and the rest of the family come barrelling down the stairs to the Batcave, Barbara feels her muscles tensing up, as training from her time on the field kicks in and she prepares herself for a fight. It's a response that has never gone away, even after having been Oracle for years now.

Barbara knows exactly when Bruce sees Talia embracing Jason because she can see the tensing of his muscles and the hardening of his expression. It's impressive, how he manages to become angry _at his dead son coming back to life_. Then again, this is Bruce 'Batman' Wayne, he gets pissy whenever someone does something he doesn't like. Despite being brought up by a man of Alfred's stature and calibre, he has managed to remain a rich, entitled brat.

After all, the _Brucie Wayne_ act works precisely because it isn't much of one.

Barbara readies herself for the upcoming screaming match. At the very least, Bruce will be engaging in some of that.

"Talia. Let go of my son."

Talia does look up, and the embrace does get broken up. However, as the pair turn towards Bruce, Jason refuses to relinquish his hold on one of her arms, holding onto it like a child, afraid of losing a parent while in a scary, unfamiliar environment. It looked... right.

If Jason hadn't been taller than her, it would have looked even more fitting.

Bruce seems to have had a similar set of thoughts because his frown deepens even more - how did he manage to look that displeased at someone? He's about to say something when Jason interrupts him, his voice low and calm and _dangerous_.

"I'm not your son."

"Jason, we need to check what happened to you, please come to-"

"I came back to life, because of some bullshit about 'the Book of Destiny' and 'unconquerable will' and other baloney that I didn't really bother listening to. I'm not really interested in the reasoning, and you don't need to bother with any research. I'll get out of your hair, you won't need to worry about me."

"Jason, believe me, I am so happy to have you back. But we need to do this so that-"

"Wow, that almost sounded human. Give it a few hundred millennia, and you might pass a Turing test. But I'll pass."

A smile stretches across Talia's face. _She's enjoying this_ , Barbara thinks. Then again, your son siding with you instead of his father - who you are at odds with on a multitude of issues - would be something to be proud of.

"Son-"

"I'm not your son." Jason warns again, and his voice somehow sounds even more threatening. Barbara finds herself wincing and readying for a fight.

"Watch your tongue, I'm trying to be reasonable with you. I'll permit Talia to stay-"

"Permit? She's my mother, she doesn't need permission from you to be with me."

"We need to find out whether there have been any adverse effects on you due to the time you've been dead and your resurrection. For God's sake, Jason, I can still see the scars from _the bullet wounds in your head_! Why don't you just let me do this?"

"Because I don't want to be here. I'm done with you."

"But we need you here, son, _I_ need you here-"

"CALL ME SON ONE MORE TIME!"

A deathly silence stretches over the Cave again, and this time, it's not that funny.

"Come here to me, Jason. That's an order."

Before Jason can respond, Bruce repeats the order again.

" _Come. Here._ "

Jason looks shocked. Then, his face twists in a disbelieving scoff.

"Fuck off, Bruce. As I said, _I'm done with you_." He grimaces, and Barbara flinches at the look on his face. "I've died thrice for you, and that's two more than I owe you."

Wait. _Thrice_?

"You've died twice. All we want to do is figure out how you came back this time." Dick says, trying to cool down the situation.

"Firstly, I know what I said. And what I said was this - _I. Died. Three. Times. For. Bruce_."

Dick's expression shifted to one of shock and horror.

"I'm fine with the first time. That was unavoidable. Considering what I've heard from Steph about Bruce's stories about my death, I can tell you this much - his baseless assumptions are as wrong as they could be. Not that the fucker would know, his ego is too oversized for his own good." Steph looks completely bowled over - if Jason was right, Bruce had been railing on her for no good reason.

Jason's voice becomes even colder. Barbara didn't know that was even possible. "I'm not fine with the next two."

"Jason, I swear, if I'd known you were going to die-"

"Ha! _If you'd known_? Motherfucker, you were _right fucking there_! You stood in front of me, put a knife into my neck and left me to die!"

"What?" Everyone asks in unison.

Everyone except Bruce.

His face is filled with horror... and _guilt_.

"Jason, I didn't know-"

"Didn't know what, asshole? That people die when their carotids get slit open? Because I'm pretty sure you know that."

Bruce does not respond. And Barbara feels a cold rage rise inside herself.

Jason waves his hand dismissively. "Going back to the main point - Secondly, I was never _brought_ back. I came back by myself each time."

Dick scoffs in response. "That's not possible, Little Wing."

"I'm not your Little Wing, _Dick_. And please, for fuck's sake, stop talking out of your ass, it doesn't suit you."

Dick isn't willing to give up the argument. Barbara wishes she could shake him and shut him up.

"I don't really want to talk to you about how or why." Jason cocks his head to one side, as if deep in thought. "Okay, maybe Alfred." Barbara notices the man's head turn sharply towards Jason, his eyes focusing in on his grandson. "But sometime later. Alone. In a... more ideal environment than... this." The contemptuous gesture he made towards the rest of the Cave with that statement should have made Barbara angry, but all she can feel is an overwhelming sense of shock and horror and _shame_.

Because Bruce has pulled them all of them down with that one act.

"But I do have one question. Did you even try to find how I came back? Or did the mere mention of a Lazarus Pit make you stop investigating?"

Bruce looks offended. "Of course we did! We looked at your grave, and all we found was an empty coffin."

Jason frowns at that statement and turns to look at Talia. She shrugs her shoulders, and replies, "We replaced it. Put a new coffin in there, and pushed the earth back in. It was a rush job."

Barbara does not like the implications of that statement.

Jason turns back to the company of Bats. "Well, I would suggest going back there and looking through the mud. Or ordering someone to do it for you, that's more your speed." Everyone acknowledges and ignores the clear insult. "You should be able to find at least some wood fragments. And at least some small fragment of the belt buckle, metal doesn't just fade away into the earth. At the very least, you should be able to find a fingernail. I lost enough of them trying to get out of there."

Barbara is sure everyone can feel the sickness coiling in their stomachs like her. At the very least, Dick can, he looks close to throwing up.

"Well, that's all I have to say. Bye guys, don't do drugs, see you never." He frowns, apparently reconsidering his words. "Okay, maybe Alfie and Cass. You're fine. And you, Babs."

He knew she was watching. _Of course_.

He moves to his bike, pulling a helmet out of the seat and tossing it to Talia. He puts his own Red Hood helmet on, and gets on the bike, motioning to her to get on behind him.

Before they can drive off, Alfred speaks up.

"Master Jason, please... take a moment to reconsider your decision."

Jason stops in his movements, and even with his face obscured by the helmet, the struggle inside him is clear as day. Barbara knows that it's a cheap attempt, but is happy for it nevertheless. She doesn't want to lose a brother without a fight of some sort.

Jason takes off his helmet and turns to Alfred, and Barbara lets herself hope.

"Sorry, Alfie."

She should really stop doing that.

"This here, is why I can't stay." he says, pointing to the scar on his neck. _The scar that Bruce put there_. "We're never going to agree on the important things, and I don't want to have to make you choose between us. I don't want to have to spend every argument wondering if there's anyone who will choose me over him. And let's face it, all of you would choose him first without thinking. Even you, Alfred."

It hurts to hear that. Barbara doesn't want to think about it - she's scared of finding out that it's true.

Alfred probably _has_ thought about it. The expression on his face shows that he probably doesn't like the conclusion he came to.

"I would like to think I deserve better than that, Alfie."

"Yes, you do." There's an odd finality to Alfred's tone, that shines through the tremor in his voice.

"Goodbye, Alfie."

"Goodbye, Jason. I hope we get to meet again."

Jason nods, with a small wistful smile on his face. He puts his helmet back on, and Barbara wonders if this is the last time she ever sees his face. He gets onto the bike, and rides away, the giant blast doors of the Batcave opening and closing in quick succession.

She should have disabled his access code to stop him from leaving.

No, she was right in letting him leave. After all, it wasn't safe for him to be around Bruce, was it?

\----------------------------------------

Silence reigns in the Cave after Jason's abrupt departure. Barbara doesn't think the family was ready for even one of Jason's revelations, let alone all of them being delivered in such quick succession.

Finally, Bruce stirs, in what was probably an attempt to regain control over the situation.

Yeah, Barbara wasn't going to let that happen without him answering some questions.

"Let's get the most obvious question out of the way. Was it an accident?"

Clearly everyone is clued in enough to know what she is talking about. Including Bruce.

"I don't know."

"Wha- you don't know? _You don't know_? You don't know if you wanted to kill your son when you put a knife into his neck?"

"Whatever that was, it wasn't my son. My son would never do that."

The rage building inside Barbara rises, her temper fraying thin.

"He tied up the Joker, put a gun to his head, and gave me another. Asked me to shoot - either at the clown or at him. You tell me, was that my son?"

"Was that your- what the actual fuck, Bruce? Are you even listening to yourself?" At least the rest of the family seems to be shocked and horrified, so they're still behaving sanely.

Barbara grits her teeth, trying to get her anger back under leash. She cannot afford to lose it here - Bruce will clam up and _never_ speak of this again.

"Ignoring that _bullshit_ -" _No, Miss Barbara Gordon, you_ cannot _lose the plot now, get your shit together_ "-did you try to help him once you had put a goddamn _Batarang_ into his neck?"

The silence is telling.

Bruce finally does speak, but he somehow manages to make it worse.

"After I threw it, Jason fell." He is evidently ignoring the _no shit Batman_ muttered by Tim over to his side. "He had a detonator, and I was trying to make him drop it. But the Joker grabbed it, and he blew up the building. I managed to get out, but the two of them didn't."

Yeah, if this is his defense, he is _not_ off to a good start.

I went back later and found the Joker's body. He was going to die, so I stabilised him and got him to the hospital. By then, police and firefighters were flooding the scene, so I didn't see the point in going back."

"Didn't see the- my God, Bruce, could you be any more robotic? That's your son! Your _son_ , and you put a knife in his neck! Even if he wasn't, you saved the fucking _Joker_ , of all people, and couldn't extend that courtesy to your son?"

"Because you didn't want him alive. Right?" Tim interjects.

Bruce remains silent. He's really nailed the art of making people hate him by not speaking.

"No wonder he never trusted us. I can't imagine what it was like."

"...Why didn't he tell us? Todd was clearly in the right, he could have garnered our support." Damian declares, his voice unnaturally hesitant.

"Because he knew all of us would never believe him." Steph replies, her tone laced with sadness and disgust. "And he knew Bruce was his best chance of getting some familial support. Or whatever excuse for it Bruce was willing to offer."

"After all, victims of abuse stay with their abusers because they believe they have no other option." Dick adds.

Was that what this was? Bruce being... an abusive father?

"He could have gone with Mother. She can protect him, support him." Damian points out.

"Not if he wanted to stay in Gotham. That's Batman's turf."

This is not the first time the similarities between the vigilantes and the mafia had struck her, but this is the first time it's not funny.

"The evidence speaks for itself. We could have accessed the cowl footage and found out the truth if Father were to lie to us."

"He probably didn't think we'd even listen to him enough for it to go that far. And even if we did, he was probably afraid of us blaming him for it."

And isn't that a bitter pill to swallow, because odds are, they would have.

They would have likely latched onto the same thing Bruce had - that Jason had asked him to kill the Joker, and thus deserved what happened to him.

Wait. Did Bruce think Jason deserved it?

"Bruce. Are you even remotely sorry for what happened?" Barbara tries to keep the tremble out of her voice, but she fails.

"Of course I am!" Bruce replies, indignant.

She feels a surge of relief. Bruce isn't entirely irredeemable.

"Lie." Cass replies, her tone colder than ice.

"No Cass. I will apologise to him as many times he wants." Bruce states, his tone abnormally soft.

"You are not sorry."

Yeah, Cass has made the point quite clearly. Again, she should just give up hope in the world. At least, she should give up hope in Bruce, he was clearly never going to be worth it.

"Bruce. Do you think that what you did was wrong?" Barbara desperately wants him to say _Yes, of course_ , but she already knows he won't.

Somehow, the lack of a reply is worse.

"Bruce, you cannot be saying that you believe that you did the right thing there." Dick says.

"I don't remember why I threw the Batarang at him. I can't say if it was right or wrong."

"It's not just about the Batarang, Bruce." Tim declares. "You left him with a mortal wound inside a collapsing building and didn't even attempt to rescue him. Considering that you bothered to rescue the clown, of all people, you cannot be serious when you say that your decision to _leave your son inside a collapsed building with a fatal neck wound_ was the right call." 

Barbara gets the feeling that Bruce thinks that that _was_ the right decision.

"He wasn't my son. That thing there wasn't my son."

"Oh my fucking God, Bruce. You've got to be shitting me." Steph says, throwing her arms up in exasperation.

"Master Wayne." Alfred says.

"I... am sorry. I failed you."

Bruce looks shocked. "Alfred, what are you saying, you didn't-"

"I have failed to teach you to care for your family. To show you how crucial it is to have people you can refer to as you own. Maybe in the conflict between my dual obligations to you as your guardian and your employee, I have failed to address your inability to form functional relationships with the people you call your family. I apologise for my mistakes, and I hope you can forgive me for them."

"No, Alfie." Dick replies, his voice filled with pain. "That's not on you. You did the best you could, and Bruce here is an adult. He is not incapable of being compassionate towards those who don't deserve it - we've seen how he's dealt with Victor and Dent. He's just an oversized toddler throwing a tantrum when he doesn't get exactly what he wants."

Bruce tries to get a foot in the discussion. "Dick-"

"No, don't you fucking dare, Bruce. You attacked Jason because he didn't come back to you the way he was. Hell, I'm not sure you even knew what he was like, you attacked him because he didn't come back _the way you wanted him_."

And that was all there was to say on the issue, wasn't there? Bruce broke his own code, the one he nearly beat Jason to death for, just because he didn't get exactly what he'd wished for.

"You were the one who told us that we don't kill because it would make us no better than them. Not even via inaction. You were the one who told me that we need to be better than that." Dick says. "Hell, you've beaten the shit out of Jason for it." Yeah, he's not missing the parallel either.

"Do you still believe that? That we shouldn't kill because we need to be better?"

Bruce has made an art form out of making people feel worse by not speaking.

"Fuck, man. What else is there to say?"

Dick slowly shuffles his way to the elevator. One by one, others follow him, leaving Cass, Alfred and Bruce alone in the Cave. Barbara remains glued to her chair, unable to look away.

Bruce looks to Alfred, a pleading expression on his face. Alfred's face, on the other hand, looks blank. As far as Barbara can recall, she has never seen Alfred look this emotionless. He's been stern, yes, and has the stereotypical British stiff-upper-lip routine down like nobody else she has ever seen, but it never looked so... devoid of feeling. She doesn't like it one bit.

Without shifting a single muscle on his face, Alfred turns around and climbs back up the staircase to the Manor.

Cass looks at Bruce, her eyes cold and unfeeling. Barbara can see a glimpse of The One Who Is All in that look.

"You told me... to be better than Cain and Shiva."

Bruce flinches visibly.

"You told me... that I did not have to be scared. Of you."

He's not going to like where this is headed.

"But... you want _him_... to be scared. Of you."

Yeah, he _definitely_ didn't like that.

"How are _you_ better than my parents?"

Barbara doesn't like it either.

"We all... deserve better too."

Cass isn't pulling any punches here.

"So _be_ better."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was a good follow-up to the previous installment. I wanted to keep Jason's perspective out of this part of the story because it felt like the family drama didn't actually need him around. Also, I like to write from the perspective of those on the outside, looking in.
> 
> I was apprehensive about pointing this out as abuse, because this is a fictional context far removed from reality, and what Jason is asking for is only a reasonable thing to request in a universe like DC's, where he will never get justice for what was done to him. For me, it feels... too removed from reality to use the term. That's why I'm using a comparison, and not a direct statement.
> 
> The next few installments will look at where Jason goes from here and will give a look at his thoughts and feelings.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this is a worthy follow-up. I've been wondering what Cass would do if she realizes that Bruce doesn't actually believe in his rule. While I don't see Cass abandoning her code - she's pretty much the only one in the Batfam who actually believes in the no-kill rule, after all - I do see her realizing that she needs to think critically about all the people around her.
> 
> I also think that of all the parents Jason has had, Talia is the best one. She did try to use him to get back with Bruce, but she also cared for him and helped him without trying to judge him. In my headcanon, Damian might be the son she gave birth to, but he's Bruce's child. Jason's _her_ son, and belongs with her way more than he has ever belonged with Bruce (and ever will). So of course he's going to want her to have his body. She's the only one he would trust with obeying his wishes with regards to his last rites. (I don't think I mentioned it, but it was cremation.)
> 
> This didn't go the way I thought it would, at all. I hope it's still worth the read.


End file.
